


Awakening

by ThePunkiest



Category: Nameless: The one thing you must recall
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-05-11 09:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5623102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePunkiest/pseuds/ThePunkiest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My own take on Nameless. I'm writing this for myself more than anything, so it's all in first person. Multi chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time I laid my eyes on a ball jointed doll, it was all I could do not to cringe. The little dolls were way up in uncanny valley, however beautiful they might have been; it was unsettling. What was worse, was that their eyes seemed real. Like the dolls’ eyes were following me around the Crobidoll showroom, gauging my reaction to them. I shuddered. A white girl in Korea was enough to garner stares, much less one in a ball jointed doll shop. I didn’t hate the stares as much as the constant whispering. Or the strangers approaching me to ask all sorts of questions. That was why I decided to seek out a friend. Sure, I had actual people friends, girls to whom I had met a year ago at the academy. But I needed someone, something with me at home to keep me occupied. So, a doll it was.

A saleswoman interrupted me as I was staring blankly at baby-faced dolls, my eyes unfocused and glazed over. She gently tapped my shoulder as I didn’t respond to her vocal attempts at getting my attention, and immediately I whirled around to give her an embarrassed smile. “Are you looking for a particular doll, miss?” she asked. I was slightly surprised. She didn’t send me a strange look for being in the shop. I blushed. “N-no, I… I don’t really know what I’m looking for. Or what I’m doing here, I… I may need some help.” I mumbled quietly, my blush slowly creeping its way to my ears. The woman chuckled and took my hand. She led me across the shop, explaining the difference between the lines of dolls, that there were many different parts for the dolls, that they all had names and personalities assigned to them. The last bit of her explanation caught fast in my ears. Personalities? Really?

We finally came to a stop in front of a silver haired doll, slender and with a sleepy face. The woman picked up the tester doll, and handed it to me. “This is Lance, our bestselling model. He’s popular as a first time doll, and has many variations to his design.” The woman gestured at the doll’s delicate facial features with a slender finger. “He’s very beautiful, wouldn’t you say?” she asked, smiling. I had to agree. The amount of detail in the face was staggering; I could honestly believe that I was staring into an actual person’s eyes… Well, a very _sleepy_ person, anyway. “How much is one?” I asked, cradling the doll in my palms. I nearly dropped him when I heard the price. Over five hundred dollars, for a piece of plastic?! I nearly shoved the damn thing back into the lady’s hands, was ready to make excuses and boot it out of the showroom, when the doll stared at me and scoffed. I froze, and stared at its face. Did this little fucker just scoff? How?! I gaped at the doll, my lips trembling. Was I finally driven to insanity by my loneliness? Or… Was it some sort of fucked up sign? “Is… Is this one for sale?” I asked the lady. Her slender eyebrows raised and she responded in the affirmative. And just like that, the pretty doll was packaged into a box and then a bag, along with clothes and the long silver wig is was wearing before.

I tromped home through the snow, damning myself for daring to step foot in the hazardous weather. Although the mall wasn’t far from my home, it was still a twenty minute walk, and my toes were frozen when I set eyes on my front door. I grumbled and pulled my key from my purse, jamming it angrily in the knob and turning. I whisked myself inside and slammed the door shut a mite too hard, a loud bang echoing in my living room and kitchen. I sighed as I stripped off layer after layer of clothes, and set my new purchase on the kitchen table. I pulled the box from the bag, and slowly unboxed my doll, careful not to damage anything accidentally. I held the tiny thing in my hand, staring intensely at it for some other sign of life, of anything that affirmed my beliefs of this being a special doll. But there was no repeat of a scoff, no sign of anything. I sighed. I was totally scammed by that shitty store. “Well, buddy…” I murmured as I grabbed some of the tiny, fine clothes I had bought for him, “No sense in letting you go nude, is there?” I dressed him in silence, attaching the wig last atop his head. I stepped back and took a good look at my little creation: very pretty. Very pretty, indeed. I smiled in spite of myself. Maybe buying him wasn’t so much of a mistake? I stepped in again and brought my fingertips to the doll’s chin, lifting it so it and I were eye to eye. “Lance,” I said proudly, “I’m your new owner. I’m new at this, and I have no idea what I’m doing. But I’ll try to be the best owner I can be. It’s nice to meet you.” I imagined him smiling at me and greeting me just as I did him. I lifted Lance and made my way to my bedroom. I sat him on my pillow as I cleaned off a shelf for him to sit on, and dusted it for good measure. I sat lance on the edge, with his knees to his chin and his palms resting on his knees. I smiled. “Good.” I said to no one in particular. ‘ _Good.’_ I echoed in my head. Yes, having Lance here might help.

I spoke frequently with Lance as weeks passed. About anything; school, friends, the unfortunate fact that was my wardrobe, that my glasses never seemed to be really clean… _‘If he was a human he would have tried to rip his ears off by now,’_ I thought, and chuckled slightly. I was finishing up some homework, and I had posed lance in such a way that it looked like he was pouring over the letters, thinking up answer after answer. “Wish I had your brains, buddy,” I said to him. Gently, I pushed back some hair from his face with my pinkie. “Wish you were real, too…” I murmured. But, if Lance _were_ real, would he even like me? In my mind, he was always rather reserved and quiet. ‘ _Bet he doesn’t like chatty people,’_ I thought, and sullenly erased an answer. A few days ago, I had surprised myself with thinking that Lance _was,_ in fact, good company. It didn’t matter that he was a doll; I spoke _for him_. Well, not out loud. That would be weird. And I never responded out loud either… That would be weirder. I put down my pen. That was enough homework for tonight. “Ready to go to bed, Lance?” I asked. I scooped him up and took him to my room, and sat him on the tiny antique couch I had bought online. I turned away from him as I undressed. Dolls were still sort of creepy, and I didn’t want mine to see me like that. I turned back around once I was finished and laid Lance down on the couch, putting a handmade pillow under his head and pulling an equally handmade blanket over his body. “Goodnight, buddy.” I said, smiled at him, and went to shut off my lights. As I crawled into bed, a strange thought popped up in my head: would he like some company? I turned my head to where I knew Lance was, and stared at him through the darkness. I was still recovering from his price tag, but I _did_ have a little more… I closed my eyes. We’d see in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh!” I exclaimed, pointing at the doll on my monitor. “Look, Lance! A Yeonho! And _so cheap!_ I’m getting him!” I hurriedly clicked the _purchase_ button, and squealed as my order was placed. “You’re gonna have a brother!” I said as I beamed down at him, and brought his tiny silver head to my lips to give him a smooch.

I could hardly wait through the week. I couldn’t focus in my classes, kept zoning out and smiling creepily to myself. Soi and Shinbi seemed worried, but I assured them everything was fine. Thankfully, they had seen this type of behavior from me before, and were not too put off. Exactly a week after I had placed my order, I came home to find a package on my doorstep. I squealed, and picked it up. I threw open my front door and shut it, careful not to slam it too forcefully, and grabbed a kitchen knife from a drawer. I set the box on my kitchen counter and cut it open to find a beautifully crafted blonde doll. My eyes widened and I immediately blushed. “Good lord!” I whispered, speechless, “You’re _adorable!”_ I smiled at my new doll, bringing him close to my face to look him in the eyes. I looked away when I felt something soft brush against my palm. I stared at the shipping box and the doll, horrified. The poor thing was wrapped in a dirty cloth, and there was a thick layer of dust coating him. I scowled deeply and sneered, and made up my mind about what to do with the doll; he was mine now, and I was going to take care of him. “Let’s give you a bath, shall we?” I asked, a warm smile warping my lips. I carefully wiped all the grime off of him, tutting lightly whenever some dust got caught in the tiny scratches that littered his body. The ad online had said that he was damaged, but I didn’t expect _this kind_ of abuse; the doll was intentionally cut up. All along his body were scratch marks that were made with a fine knife. “Like a turkey at Christmas,” I murmured as I scrubbed harder to get the dirt from his scars. Soon enough, the little beauty was spotless and good as new. I smiled at Yeonho when I finished, proud that I hadn’t accidentally damaged him. I dried him gently and dressed him in the clothes I had gotten him. ‘ _Much better,’_ I thought. “Now, Yeonho,” I said as I opened the door to my room, “I have another doll named Lance. He’s older than you so he’ll fill in the gaps, okay?” I could nearly see the small, nervous smile Yeonho gave me. I sat Yeonho next to Lance, pulling the little blonde doll’s legs up to his chin, making him look demure and innocent. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that Lance was getting a feel for this new doll, deciding if he liked him or not. My eyes flicked to him. “Lance, don’t be so vicious. He’s new. You have to help him.” I murmured quietly, fixing Lance with a stare. I didn’t think I would ever scold a doll! I imagined Lance scoffing at me. I scowled at him, but quickly readjusted myself to grin widely at Yeonho, and stroked his silky, blonde hair. “Everything will be fine.” I whispered, assuring the little doll. “Welcome to the family!” I added hastily, my smile lopsided. No matter what, I would protect these little rays of light, the only rays of light I had in my life.

Their gazes scorched me even at night. I laid awake and stared at my dolls underneath the thick cover of night that had settled in my room. That night seemed darker than others, the kind of darkness that settled like a thick woolen blanket across the room, the kind of darkness that suffocates a person. I entertained memories of lying awake as a child and watching dark shapes contort on my ceiling. I shut my eyes, squeezing them shut. There were various pieces of myself and my memories that I disliked to revisit, and the terrifying dark shapes were just a shard. I rolled over to my other side, and buried my head in my pillow. I would be fine in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Morning came with rain. It spattered against the windows of my bedroom, contorting the outside world into vertical blurs. The day was quiet, except for the rain; no cars on the road, no chattering students walking by on their way to class. A day of tranquility. I opened my eyes, sliding them open with laziness. Yeonho and Lance sat on the couch that I had placed them on last night, in a burst of sympathy for them; I had never quite outgrown the need to make my toys feel comfortable as they "slept". My covers slipped off of my back as I threw my legs over the side of the my bed. "Good morning, boys," I muttered, and rubbed my eyes. I imagined them greeting me, smiling. And in turn, I smiled back. I glanced at my alarm clock, and found it to be startling early in the morning. "Oh well," I said as my feet hit the floor, "Better eat something, anyway,". I grasped both Yeonho and Lance in my hands, and made my way downstairs. Once in the kitchen, I set them on the table and made for the front door. Usually, there was mail on the doorstep for me; sometimes, even a package from my friends back home. I jiggled the handle once, twice, and opened the door. 

Ah, there was something, after all!

"Boys!" I called as I scooped up the brown box and hurried back into the kitchen, closing the front door with my foot, "we got mail!" With impatience, I commandeered some scissors from a drawer, and hastily cut into the box. On the inside, was a letter and red tissue paper. My brows furrowed and I picked away at the paper, confused. Did I win anything? My stirred Korean was still relatively weak, so I didn't want to read the letter too badly. But, when I saw what was at the bottom of the package, I understood.

I had won the doll. "Holy crap!" I whispered as I picked him up, dressed in his fine clothes and pretty red wig. A few weeks before, I had been chosen to test out a new prototype doll, called "Red"; at the end, it was announced that one person would be winning him.

I had never thought that that person oils be  _me._ "Red," I said as I looked him over, "are you ready for breakfast?"

And for some reason, I think he smiled.


End file.
